Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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