you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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