My brain says no but my pants say off.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
