I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
