I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
are you so shy because you have an std?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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