All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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