I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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