i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
