do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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