Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize