the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
