If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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