I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
