I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
