i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
