My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
