Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
