dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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