How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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