Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
