Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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