We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
