I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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