one might say we're banned from that church
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
as a side note pls kill me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
