I wannas sexs uuuuu
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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