sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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