i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize