Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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