census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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