Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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