We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
