About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
