I want to walk on stilts...naked
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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