I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
