...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
