Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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