I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
