who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
