Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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