yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
