Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
