Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize