What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think your dad took our porno
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
