I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
