he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
