you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
