I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize