Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
