You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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