Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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