I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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