so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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