Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
