I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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