I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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