You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
