I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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