If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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