Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
