i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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