While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
